Handling Grief

Grief is a Natural Process – So why can some of us feel stuck in the process?  

Grief is one of the most universal experiences, we will all experience it at some point.

 It is also the most natural process, innately we know how to respond to loss.

Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, loss of a job, or even a shift in identity or purpose, grief serves as a way to integrate what has been lost with what remains. But while grief is natural, the journey through it is rarely straightforward and so many of us can feel stuck and lost in the process.  

The Natural Flow of Grief  

In its purest form, grief is an ebb and flow, the experience of emotions, thoughts, and sensations. It encompasses sadness, anger, confusion, and even moments of relief. The process allows us to honour what we’ve lost while creating space for healing and growth. However, this natural process often becomes disrupted, not by grief itself but by societal factors that shape how we view and express it.  

How Society Disrupts the Grieving Process  

Modern society often treats grief as a problem to be solved rather than a journey to be honoured and experienced. Here are some of the ways societal norms and systems hinder the natural unfolding of grief:  

The Pressure to “Move On” 

Many of us feel an unspoken expectation to “move on” quickly after a loss. Workplace bereavement policies, for instance, often offer just a few days of leave, implying that grief has a timeline. This pressure to “get back to normal” can prevent individuals from fully processing their emotions, leaving grief unacknowledged and unresolved.  

Stigma Around Emotional Vulnerability  

 Society often glorifies strength and resilience in ways that discourage vulnerability. People may feel judged for crying too much, talking about their loss, or seeming “stuck” in their grief. This stigma can lead to isolation, as many grievers choose to hide their emotions rather than seek support.  

Cultural Silence Around Grief  

In many cultures, grief is treated as a private matter. Discussions around death, loss, or emotional pain are often avoided, leaving those who are grieving feeling alone or unsupported.  

The Distraction Culture 

We live in a world that celebrates busyness and productivity. The distraction culture encourages people to suppress or numb their pain by staying occupied, leading to unresolved grief that can manifest in physical or emotional ways.  

Unrealistic Expectations of Recovery & Healing  

 The “stages of grief” model is often misunderstood as a linear process with a clear endpoint. This oversimplification can leave people feeling inadequate if they don’t progress through their grief in an expected way or within a specific timeframe.  

The Impact of Unresolved Grief  

When the world around us doesn’t allow the natural process of grief to unfold, it can lead to a sense of being “stuck” in grief. This stagnation can affect us on many different levels: 

Emotionally 

Suppressed grief can lead to feelings of anger, guilt, or chronic sadness. It can also contribute to anxiety or depression, especially when people feel isolated, misunderstood or unsupported in their journey.  

Physically  

Grief has a profound impact on the body. Unprocessed emotions can manifest as physical symptoms like fatigue, chronic pain, weakened immunity, or tension-related disorders.  

Spiritually 

Grief often shakes the foundation of our beliefs, challenging our understanding of life, purpose, and connection. When we don’t allow ourselves the space to process grief, it can create a sense of spiritual disconnection or a feeling of being “lost.”  

What Keeps Us Stuck in Grief  

Lots of different factors can keep us stuck in grief, including:  

  • Unacknowledged Loss: Losses that society doesn’t recognize (e.g., miscarriage, job loss, loss of identity) can leave individuals feeling invalidated.  
  • Lack of Support: When friends, family, or communities fail to provide meaningful support, grief can feel isolating.  
  • Avoidance: Fear of facing painful emotions can lead to suppressing grief, which only delays healing.  

Reclaiming the Natural Process of Grief  

To allow grief to unfold naturally, we need to shift societal attitudes and create spaces where people feel safe to grieve.

Here are some steps to support this process:  

1. Normalise Grief  

 Start conversations about loss and grief in your circles. Acknowledge that grief is not linear and that every journey is unique.  

2. Create Time and Space  

Advocate for better bereavement policies in workplaces and communities. Offer others—and yourself—the time and space needed to grieve without judgment.  

3. Seek and Offer Support 

Reach out to grief groups, grief coaches, counsellors, or spiritual communities for guidance. Supporting others in their grief journey can also help with connection and healing.  

4. Honour Your Loss  

Rituals, journaling, or creating art can help you express and process your grief.  However you choose to do this, making space for your grief is essential to allow you to move through it.

5. Reframe “Stuckness”  

Being stuck in grief isn’t a failure – it’s a signal that something needs attention. Explore what might be unresolved or unacknowledged and seek support to address it.  

So, while grief is a natural process, societal taboos and attitudes often disrupt its flow, leaving so many of us feeling disconnected from our emotions, and often ill as a result of it. By challenging societal norms, seeking support, and allowing ourselves the time to process our losses, we can reconnect with the natural rhythms of our losses and individual grief – and ultimately, with ourselves.  

If you’re feeling stuck in your grief journey, know that you’re not alone. Reach out for support or book a free discovery call to explore how I can help you navigate your loss. It’s possible to honour your grief and begin to create space for healing and hope.  

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