I had an interaction recently which had me majorly wobbled to my core, and if the truth be known it made me question a lot and I took it very, very personally.
I had to step back and remind myself about what was actually going on and I had to get support.
You see grief is a funny old thing, it’s about what we wish had been different, better or more than it was. And this can be applied to so many things that happen to us, loss can be so many things.
When all of these things, these losses, build up in us, and we don’t have the correct information about how to deal with it, it can create a HUGE energy inside of us.
This energy takes a lot of work to keep it all contained. All that heartbreak, disappointment, mistrust, shock, deep pain, betrayal, loneliness, abuse – all of that takes a huge amount work and energy to keep hidden and buried from the world. To keep a tight lid on it, to put a mask on and pretend that everything is ok.
But eventually this torrent of energy will show itself, and in some cases will display itself as outbursts of anger, aggression and unreasonable behaviour. You know, the kind of anger that rocks you and the person feeling it to their core.
We all know that person, we all tread on egg shells when we are around them. We are careful about what we say and do. We are almost a bit fearful of their reaction. Unpredictable outbursts of anger, over the top reactions, unreasonable behaviour, all about the smallest things.
We all know that person right?
When we are on the receiving end of that energy it is rough, and we take it, very, very personally.
Some advice.
Step back.
It is actually nothing to do with you.
This is not because of something you have or haven’t done. Recognise that this behaviour is not proportionate to what just happened.
Please don’t take it personally.
But of course you will only be able to do that if you have dealt with your own stuff, your grief and your losses.
Are you a parent, sister, daughter, son, friend, employee? Whose behaviour affects others because you haven’t been able to deal with your past?
I’m here to tell you you don’t have to let your past define you, to have such a tight grip on you. Break free from that prison of grief. Sometimes you just don’t know who you are without that grief – wouldn’t you like to try and get to know the real you buried under all that?
With love,
Dipti xx
www.diptisolanki.com
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Thank you for reading