When we become stuck in emotions related to loss and grief, we can feel like there’s something badly wrong with us and we don’t know how to deal with it. But your grief is a normal and natural reaction to any loss you may have suffered – and we have all suffered huge losses this year.
I talk a lot about how loss and grief can be so many different things, because it bears repeating that it’s not only death. In 2020 we have all suffered a collective loss: of freedoms, plans, gatherings, being with loved ones and so much more.
I want to normalise how natural it is to go into the grieving process and to feel all the emotions of loss. But what happens when we are feeling a lot of emotion is that we try to think ourselves out of it or intellectualize it. We get frustrated with ourselves. We may say, “I don’t know why I can’t just push through this.” Or, “Why do I let things like this get to me?”
You’re letting things get to you because something has hurt you. And it’s no good trying to think your way out of grief because you don’t have a broken brain – you have a broken heart, and you cannot use your head to navigate a broken heart.
“You cannot think your way out of grief. You must feel your way out of it.”
Emotions that may arise when you are affected by any kind of grief and loss
There are so many emotions that can come up around any kind of loss – from a heartbreak, job loss, divorce, death, end of a friendship, health concern – but if you’re experiencing any of these, know that there’s nothing wrong with you:
- Deep sadness
- Loneliness
- Anger or extreme rage
- Irritability
- Resentment
- Shock
- Despair
- Yearning
- Hopelessness
- Anxiety
- Panic
- Abandonment
- Disbelief
- Guilt
- Fear
Grief and loss bring on a huge roller coaster of emotions. And they can feel really heightened at times or very suppressed at times when we bring in behaviour to try to numb our feelings.
No matter how recent a loss is, you will go through these emotions until you have dealt with the event that caused your pain.
- Does it feel like everyone else is “getting on with it” and doing fine?
- Are you worrying about why you can’t seem to move forward like others are?
- Are you feeling frustrated with yourself for feeling so much and not understanding why?
I get it. And I know you may have tried things like mindfulness or “positive thinking” to help yourself.
Remember, it’s not about how you are thinking, it’s about how you are feeling. You cannot think your way out of loss, you need to feel your way out of it.
Why do we get stuck in a roller coaster of emotions?
If you feel like you’re stuck in emotion, I want you to know it’s not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you.
You simply haven’t been taught how to deal with your feelings of loss and grief, so how are you meant to magically process them?
My work is about showing people how to gain emotional freedom using my 5-step Heart Recovery Framework.
I understand where you are because I spent a long time there myself – and 2020 has brought up old wounds for so many of us.
But since I learned how to deeply heal and clear out the stagnant grief, loss and trauma that was keeping me stuck, I’ve discovered the amazing potential that each day holds.
I was devastated by grief early in my own life. Like many people, I thought I was “fine” until persistent depression and severe anxiety took over.
The process I take my clients through mirrors what I have experienced, which is why I am so committed to spreading the message that positive change and healing ARE possible.
When I learned that my unresolved grief was keeping me from meaningful relationships, living my truth and feeling true happiness, I dedicated my life to helping women clear out the sludge of old emotional wounds and live life beyond their wildest imaginings.
It is possible to get off the rollercoaster of emotion and live emotionally free.
If this is resonating with you please remember, you can’t push through, intellectualise, or ignore emotional pain. You must learn to go into it and gently release it. I’m here to help you do just that whenever you are ready to take the next step towards the life you truly deserve.
You deserve to move through your pain and recover the you that experiences joy, freedom and love. Get in touch to learn more about my 1:1 and Group ‘Recover’ programmes. Email me on dipti@diptisolanki.com