Why “Pushing Through The Pain” Doesn’t Work Long-term

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Emotional pain and heartbreak are a fact of life, yet few of us have been taught how to process them effectively. Learn why “pushing through” prevents you from the freedom to feel deep love, explore your purpose or build your dream business.

  • Have you been taught to “stay strong” by not expressing how you really feel?
  • Have you ever felt it’s “weak” to show your emotions?
  • Do you worry that feeling your feelings is dangerous, or that you’ll lose control if you do?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you’re not alone. 

The truth is it’s very rare for people to be properly taught about the benefits of sitting with, understanding and processing emotion.

As a society, we tend to shy away from painful, difficult, or uncomfortable feelings. Most of us were taught very early on to brush ourselves off and push through.

We get messages such as, “Big boys and girls don’t cry” and have been taught that when we feel any kind of grief, sorrow, or emotional discomfort, we need to work through it quickly – and preferably quietly.  

It’s no surprise that most of us hide how we feel and put it down to a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, possibly even a bad year. 

Yet “Pushing through” and carrying on regardless doesn’t make the emotions go away

In fact they sit within us and have a whole life of their own. They’ve got their own depths, idiosyncrasies and flavors – and they’re building up an energy inside of us. 

Our culture teaches us to deal with the built-up emotional energy via distractions.

Distractions include everything from overworking and drama to alcohol, sex or food.

“Ask not why the addiction but why the pain?”

Dr. Gabor Maté

Distractions, addictions and coping mechanisms are used when we are trying to squash something down. This happens for a number of reasons, perhaps because we haven’t been taught how to deal with our emotions, or we worry that the people around us won’t be comfortable with us feeling them.

Squashing down emotion and pushing through regardless can have major repercussions – both physically, mentally and relationally. 

Why? Because when we hold on to emotions, they can become expressed in physical symptoms and/or emotional reactions that we may struggle to understand. 

Have you ever had the experience of reacting angrily or with tears to something seemingly small and have no idea why? Unprocessed emotion could be the reason why.

How do you deal with your emotions? 

  • Are you pushing through the pain that’s built up in your heart over the years?
  • Is unresolved emotion causing problems in your relationships, health or work?
  • Do you suspect you are using distractions to avoid dealing with your emotions?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions I want you to know you’re not alone. And it is both possible and essential to develop a healthy way of coping with emotional pain when it arises. When we learn how to feel and process emotion properly, we get one step closer to showing up as our full selves in our personal and professional relationships – and that’s where the real magic happens. 

Does this resonate with you? You don’t have to keep pushing through and living with built-up emotion sitting heavy on your heart. Get in touch to find out how my 1:1 and group healing programmes can help you live an authentic and connected life.

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